Every breath destroys, every touch bruises, every thought contaminates.
I must breathe to live;
inhaling rich, sweet, air
breathing out only waste,
all I need drawn from the well
in selfish survival.
I must touch to love;
drawing in the close touch
of lower case worship,
a demand from delicate ego
for a kiss upon the bruises.
I must think to survive;
stealing from restorative silences,
filling the quiet with intrusion
lest Your words impose
and my personality coalesces
with the random universe.
Each breath and touch and thought
applies its wounding thrust
blow upon blow.
a compulsion I cannot overcome,
to breathe is to live,
to live is to need forgiveness.
bruising and healing in unequal measure
touching – the function
of the give and take of forgiveness.
and amid these careless thoughts
You wander; showing me
above my name written upon Your palm
the nail marks I write there daily.